What do you choose:
20 years live full of passion or 40 quiet years?
A few years ago I was in Austria investigating my health.
My medical analysis had shown that some levels were higher than normal, and my doctors recommended two small interventions – gastroscopy and colonoscopy.
Everything had been going well so far, but just as I was going to sign a document saying that I agreed with this procedure the doctor in charge of this, a young man in his 20s and who, I assume, was a resident doctor there, became quite emotional, as if this was his first conversation with a patient.
He was trying to explain to me the risks of intervention – first in German and then in English, because the medical terms were difficult for me to understand. These interventions are usually carried out under general anaesthetic and, he said, among other things, that this posed the greatest risk of death. That young doctor, repeated this to me a couple of times with his shaky voice, about this risk of death, and in doing so passed on his anxiety to me.
So great was this seed of anxiety that over the next few days I lived with great fear, even horror in my heart, at the thought of what was going to happen to me.
I was trying to focus on my daily activities, but even so, fear didn’t fade from my mind. I felt it deeply, even in my bones. So loud, I figured if I went to the Light, at least I’d leave everything in order here on earth…
And so, with a trembling heart, I started to drive to the intervention, prepared only on the physical and material level, with just a small overnight bag as I was only going to be staying in the hospital for two days.
However, on a mental and soul level, I was totally unprepared…
I was driving my car down the road between two fields, and I was wondering, or was even amazed at what I was so afraid of. I entered into a conscious dialogue with my fear, and in the next moment I had a vision that conveyed to me:
“Nicole, you don’t need worry about now. It’s not your time to move into the next world. You will leave in a long time, one day when you will be so old and have lived through so many things, so much so that you will pass on peacefully, happy, fulfilled and without regret.”
I really liked that vision where I saw myself very old and with wrinkled skin, but most of all I liked that it rid me of that destructive fear, a fear that haunted me, a fear of death.
I wondered if that voice was my unconscious mind, who wanted to protect me, put me back in my comfort zone and to help me overcome my fear? Or was it my spirit-subconscious, who really knows everything the best?!
As a result of this, I began to wonder what is more important to me: the quantity or quality of time spent here on earth and in this life?
At the time I was impressed by the life story of a famous singer who had recently died, just over 60 years old. I had watched, totally and totally by chance, because I don’t have a TV, a show that discussed this subject, and especially since that lady left this life far too early stepping into the Light.
I had particularly paid attention to what the astrologer was saying, namely that the lady in question had to make a choice at some point, consciously or unconsciously.
Her choice was between living a long but quiet life like a normal woman, having a beautiful family and a simple life, or her second option being the very one that the lady had chosen: that is to live a life full of glory, intensity, to have a remarkable success in the job she was doing, to live with the man most compatible with her, her soul mate, with whom she had spent the last 20 years of her life.
By choosing all this, both professional success and cosmic love – how I loved the way that astrologer expressed himself – she had to pay a price:
She had much less time to live here in this life, possibly only living half as long as she would have done if she had chosen the first way.
I loved the story, as well as the choice, a choice taken more or less consciously by the singer. That’s why I started thinking that if God was to ask me tomorrow:
What life would I choose?
Could I choose to live a long time, but to have a normal, quiet life? Live like many other people in an unfulfilled couple relationship and having a job that doesn’t satisfy me?
Or would I choose the Quality of my time here in this life?
I mean, live with passion in everything I do and do my professional work in the field that I’m completely in love with? Would I choose to have much less time, but live without fear – with the man predestined for me – having common interests and moral values, looking together in the same direction? Clean and pure in the soul, honour, word, dignity, self-esteem and conscience, being of great importance to us?
Being a mere mortal, of course, I was scared of this choice, even of having to make it, but thinking about it I would certainly have chosen the second way.
Success for me doesn’t necessarily mean necessarily luxury or fame.
Success, in my opinion, is an intimate feeling and means the same thing as emotional maturity, that is to say that you understand who you are and to accept yourself exactly the way you are.
At that moment you get automatic access to all your gifts from the universe (God) and all doors open to you. You become a living magnet and attract everything you need: the people and situations that best value you. You live the abundance on all levels in your life: mental, emotional, spiritual, material.
Although I had cold chills because, saying what I would choose, I realized that it was possible to predict my future. We all know the power of our beliefs, but also the words spoken or written, the affirmations, right?
Hehe, then I understood that these cold chills came from the unconscious of the mind – through fear – while the spirit whispered to me through the intuition that I would live them both, both that quiet and simple life, and yet a life with professional fulfilment and cosmic love with my predestined man.
But that is enough about me: What life would you choose?
Would you like to know how I came to understand life and relationships? You can discover my life journey reading my book *I knew you’d come in white on white. You can find it on Amazon in kindle or paper back format and on Payhip in pdf format.