I Knew You’d Come in White
– book excerpt –
”As every day passed my determination grew stronger.
I was working more on my book and photography every day, ignoring household chores and obligations and spending my afternoons at the lake.
I love the water and I feel great when I swim and play in the water, jumping into the air like a mermaid. It’s as if I am melting into the Universe, it’s freeing, relaxing, absolute happiness, Nirvana. They say that the ones who experience this freedom in the water swim with ease through life’s waves, surpassing every obstacle.
On that superb summer day I was at the lake in the morning, I had guests: my brother and his beautiful family, who had come for a short holiday. I was so happy to see them together: they were jumping into the water, laughing, joking, and they were making me want to do it too. I had been living there for three years and I had never jumped into the water from the pontoon because I didn’t want to ruin my makeup or hair.
I was sitting there, on the beautiful pontoon, and telling myself that it should be so easy to do it. Watching into the depths of the clear turquoise water, I could see the fish swimming before my eyes.
I wanted to be with them, a part of me was already there, in that invigorating water, but I was terrified of jumping, of letting go. My legs were frozen to the wood, frozen by fear, incapable of executing the command my brain was sending.
Yes, and though they were there still, all around me, they had lost their enthusiasm to cheer me on to do it.
I had to do it. Not for them, but for myself.
I had to show myself that I could overcome my limitations.
That I could change my life.
That I could heal myself.”
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